Note to fellow writers
Be sure to revise your essays carefully!

There’s an old saying among writers: “There’s no such thing as good writing. Only good-rewriting.”

Ernest Hemingway once confided to George Plimpton during an interview that he rewrote the ending to A Farewell to Arms 39 times before he was satisfied. Why so many rewrites? Plimpton asked.

Because, Hemingway responded, he wanted to get the words right.

Please work on revising your essays before I grade them. Start with your ideas. Can you state your main point in a single, clear sentence? If not, you haven’t brought your thoughts into focus yet, and if you’re thoughts aren’t focused it’s inevitably that your essay will wander around with no clear sense of what it’s trying to accomplish.

Is each paragraph really a paragraph, organized around one idea which is stated in a clear topic sentence?

Have you cut out unnecessary padding, so each sentence is sharp and lean and clear?

Have you proofread, to make sure that every sentence really is a sentence, and that your paragraphs are smooth with a rhythm that’s easy to follow?

Have you spell checked?

Here’s the checklist I will use to grade your essay:

Proofreading Checklist

Ideas and organization

Somewhere in the first paragraph, I state my thesis in a simple, direct sentence.
My thesis expresses an opinion rather than summarizes the story or states something that is simply factually true.
The body of my essay consists of three or four reasons that “prove” my thesis or examples that support it.
Every paragraph has a topic sentence which states the main idea of that paragraph.
Everything in the paragraph relates to that topic sentence.
The points are organized in a way that a reader can easily follow the argument.

Style

Every sentence is clear and graceful.
Most sentences have active verbs rather than “being” verbs, such as “is,” “was,” “were,” “are,” etc.
My nouns are specific rather than vague or abstract. (“tree” is vague; “willow” is specific֓trouble” is abstract; the death of her daughter is specific)

Conventions and Usage

Every word is spelled correctly.
Every sentence is complete (no fragments).
I have no fused sentences or comma splices. I’ve changed run-on sentences with too many jumbled together ideas into simpler sentences.
Possessive nouns have apostrophes. Conjunctions have apostrophes.
Proper nouns are capitalized, and every sentence begins with a capital.

Posted by Michael L Umphrey on 10/27 at 11:59 PM
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Class Logistics •

PHS Photo Gallery
From the OurSpace Gallery

Find more photos like this on OurSpace

Posted by Michael L Umphrey on 10/25 at 12:41 AM
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Introduction to Poetry
Meter, Rhyme and Eloquence

Handouts:

The basics of poetry meter, with model poems

Poetry Meter Handout

Writing Your Own Poem

“Where I’m From”
Assignment: Write a “where I’m from” poem

Posted by Michael L Umphrey on 10/23 at 03:08 PM
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Photo Club Surveys
People in photography club: take these surveys!

Posted by Michael L Umphrey on 10/16 at 04:38 PM
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Photography Club Membership
2008-09

*Sierra Pete (883-0576) Brower (676-3365)
*Jordan Gochis (883-4224 or 261-6283)
*Mary Wiedrich (883-5398)
*Jake Walsh (270-3308)
*Melissa Cisneros (871-1566)
*Amanda Berens (270-3562)
*Chastity Biggers (212-7512)
*Sierra Kohler (887-2869)
*Sydney Plant (887-2874)
*Jazmin Auld (849-5734)
*Katie O’Brien (471-6537)

Ceylon Brown
Kate Finley (883-3286)
Josie Benedetti (880-0721)
Amanda Umphress (883-0010)
Danielle Kinyon (471-2125)
Mycal Bailey (471-1799)
Aspen Many Hides (207-9701)
Alexa Cline (229-0211)
Rebecca Costilla (253-9745)
Veda Mathias (849-5699)
Mariah Hamel (250-2596)
Josie Benedetti
Jenni Reilley (253-9630)
Laura Brandeis (887-2733)

Later:
Caitlin Mahoney

Officers
President
Vice President
Secretary
Treasurer
Exhibitions Director

Interests

Classes 16
Guest Speakers 9
Studio work 20
Shows/Exhibits 20
Field Trips 20
Community Service 14
Sharing 18
Photoshop 13
Fund Raising 18
Staged 1

Nature 16
Journalism 11
People/Portraits 17
Art 18
High School 11
Family 7
Black&White 1

Posted by Michael L Umphrey on 10/06 at 09:48 AM
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Class Logistics •

Did you join the Photography Club?
Two web sites for the Club Melissa has create a MySpace Group for Photography Club. We can use it to upload photos for sharing and for general discussion & networking. It's here: http://groups.myspace.com/phsphotoclub

We will also use a Google Group for email messages and to organize basic materials (notices of events, minutes of meeting, membership list, announcements, etc.). Use the form below to join:

Subscribe to PHS_photo

Email:

Visit this group

Posted by Michael L Umphrey on 10/05 at 06:29 PM
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Extra Credit •

Moodle Link
You can't get there from here

Here’s a link to the moodle site: http://www.umphrey.net/classes/

Several people have told me the drop-down menu at the top of this page doesn’t work on their home computer.

It would help me if people would check it, and if it doesn’t work, send me an email telling me which browser they are using. (To find out which browser you are using, go to the HELP menu, then click ABOUT. . .

To email me, use this link: http://www.flatheadreservation.org/index.php/main/contact_mlu

Posted by Michael L Umphrey on 10/01 at 11:55 PM
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