Below I’ve copied samples from your last writing assignment that illustrate some problems we’ll go over in class.

First, here’s an example of a post that I gave an “A.” It has a clear topic sentence, it is unified, and it makes it’s point in a clear and direct way drawing both on the readings and on the writer’s personal experience:

I do not think Facebook contributes to ADHD. I think it gives people a chance to ignore the rules of society for once and just let ourselves go. I enjoy the freedom that networking sites offer because it allows us to write in our own dialect, of sorts, instead of a set of rules which have no reason to follow except for a grade in English class. I study hard for tests and I’ve been writing a novel for a number of years. I can say that writing correctly is easy to understand, but in this day and age, chat-speak and texting language is equally easy to make sense of. It’s kind of like how Reuven’s baseball team wears regular American clothing, and Danny Saunders wears the Hasidic uniform. Reuven’s team being the texting language, and Danny being grammatically correct English-- they are both respectable people, and they both make sense. I find it relatively easy to switch back and forth between English and American-chat-speak. I think that’s why I do so well in English, is because I make a bold line between the two. I don’t think it contributes to ADD or ADHD. It’s just like being multi-lingual. I catch myself mixing the Spanish and English language together more often than I mix chat-speak in with English. I think the reason Facebook users have lower GPAs is because they’re to the point where they just don’t care anymore. They have allowed themselves to be completely absorbed in American teenage society in which we use our American dialect. I enjoy our freedom to butcher the English language on networking sites.

Unity

Is Facebook and texting making kids dumber? In my opinion, there is no possible way that you can get dumber by using something that makes you think while you use it. Communicating by typing is a good way to use your typing skills and your spelling and grammer. I am a lazy person and I usually just call people, because it is just so much easier. How can typing on a computer give you ADHD? Typing on facebook would just put you to sleep. If it was true that people could get ADHD, probably at least half the word would have it.

Redundancy

In my personal opinion I do not think that Facebook or Texting has anything to do with ADHD.

Point of View

I do not think Facebook contributes to ADHD. I think it gives people a chance to ignore the rules of society for once and just let ourselves go.

At the same time though she is kind of right becuase grammar and spelling is getting worse as texting becomes more and more popular but it really doesn’t really matter much to me because I don’t even use proper grammar becuase it sounds like you think that you are smarter than everybody else.

Logic

Also this article stated, “College students who use the 200-million member social network have significantly lower grade-point averages.” What about people who aren’t in college. If you read the article you’d think everyone who uses Facebook has ADHD.

I don’t think that Facebook is making ADHD in people worse. I personally do not use facebook and i have ADHD.

I believe that Facebook is not causing bad grades or shorter attention spans in teens today. I think its just they were never taught how to correctly plan out how they should do things. I think that the article written about how kids are getting bad grades in school because of networking sites liked Facebook, Myspace, and other networking sites was one sided. Did they actually just talking to the parents of the teens?

There was a recent study by a doctoral candidate Aryn Karpinski of Ohio State University showing in her results of her study that people who use Facebook are more prone to having A.D.H.D.and not being as witty as people who don’t use these networks. I disagree with her on this because you can’t blame Facebook, Myspace, Bebo, texting, or any other socializing networks like that on having A.D.H.D. or not having a higher G.P.A. than others who don’t use them. There are people who have a 4.0 G.P.A. and they use Facebook and text daily.

Subject/Verb Agreement:

Does Facebook and texting make you smarter?

becuase grammar and spelling is getting worse as texting becomes more and more popular

There is a controversy going on about how internet social sights and texting is causing students of all ages to have lower grades than other students

Bad grammar and spelling mistakes has to do with discipline

There is medications for it but that changes who a person is

When there was no such thing as Facebook or texting people was doing other important things in their lifes

if your friend lives far from you, and facebook or texting are your the best way to make contact with them, you should use these stuff.

Pronoun Errors

I think that facebook and texting is contributing to an ADHD personality in people. It makes people used to a more fast paced life,

If anything, facebook would make you more active. Why would come to the conclusion that it’s only Facebook and texting. The computer and internet has been around for a while. What difference is it from back then to now.

Like if you forgot the homework assignment, you can just text your friend or teacher an get it right than an there. But it’s brief, and short messages.

depending on the amount of time a person is on Facebook or spends texting, the quality of their grade will be affected for the worse.

Run-on Sentences

Texting and Facebook haven’t changed how i study even in the slightest so therefore on the topic of Hamilton’s essay I don’t really agree with the topic of it causing ADHD but Facebook and texting can take away from what people do, such as if they are on the computer or texting someone they may not take the time to do homework or study but it doesn’t cause ADHD.

I think that who has ADHD was born with it. but it may lose you line of thinking becouse you might be doing something important and you get a text from someine you like then you drop that important thing and text then forget about the importance of the first thing.

Fused Sentences

I think that this is just a trend soon the problem of teens bad grades and shorter attention spans will be blamed on the next big thing.

Some people can get good grades while spending more time on Facebook then studying, others just don’t have that gift.

Comma Splice

Some of my friends are attached to the online world, they’ll be on for hours.

I am apart of millions an millions of text message users, It does help in so pretty enormous ways though.

I wouldn’t blame texting or these internet browsers, most of these kids are young adults and should be making choices for themselves.