Writing paragraphs
Unity, Coherence, DevelopmentUnity: A good paragraph is unified around a single topic, which is stated clearly in the topic sentence.
Okay: The Puritans were a very religious people that believed that God overlooked and controlled every little thing in their lives. They thought that the things they did either pleased or angered God. If the Puritans were good they were rewarded, but if they were bad they thought that God would harshly punish them. “There was a proud and profane young man… he would always be condemning people with their sickness and cursing them… but it pleased God… to smite this young man.” William Bradford is showing his total belief that God controls everything in everybody’s lives. From the little things like getting a cold, to the big things like being killed.
Weak: The Puritans were not a particularly clean or strong people for all their Godliness. They rarely bathed, and their sanitation was always in question. But their faith in God was obviously enough to pull them through. Though over half their population died from cold, starvation, and sickness during their first winter, which Bradford describes as, “… they that know the winters of that country know them to be sharp and violent...” and, “… subject to cruel and fierce storms...”, they suffered through and eventually flourished, though eventually being swallowed up by the Massachusetts Bay colony. The Pilgrims may not have done much, but their example and ability left a mark on the face of America that will never be forgotten, and their Faith in God was representative of the Pinnacle of human piety.
Coherence: A good paragraph coheres, with all the parts fitting together so that the reader moves through it without becoming lost or confused.
Weak: The Puritans had a mind set of casting opinions on groups of people. For, after all, they were leaving there own country because of their conception of the English government. Even before meeting the natives, the cast of pilgrims had made their own judgments of the Indians, Most thought the Native American race to be wild and uncivil, “...Barbarous and most treacherous, being most furious in their rage and merciless where they overcome....” As you can see, the pilgrims expected to arrive to a land filled with these unknown ravenous beings. It was made clear to all the pilgrims that Indians were not to be trusted because of their unruly ways.
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