Writing Rules
  How to get it wrong

Avoid alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid clichs like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
Contractions aren’t necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Comparisons are as bad as clichs.
Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
Be more or less specific.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.