by Heather Howell

When I read A River Runs Through It the quote that stood out the most to me was Maclean’s last line, “I am haunted by waters.” This quote was significant to me because Norman and his family all loved fishing so much, but after Norman lost his family the waters were a constant reminder to him of memories. Throughout the book Norman Maclean emphasizes on his relationships with his family - particularly his brother Paul.

Norman has a unique relationship with his brother Paul. Paul and Norman love each other deeply, but express it in different ways. Norman shows his love for Paul by always trying to help him and guide him to live a better life. When Paul runs into trouble with with the law or his finances, Norman supports him and lets Paul know he is there for him. After Paul got into the fight and ended up in jail, Norman came to help him and take him home. Paul showed his love for Norman in the book after he thought Norman and Jessie were having problems and he took Norman to go fishing with his father and him. While neither of the brothers are upfront in telling the other that they love them, they both prove it continuously through their actions.

The relationship between Jessie and Norman was somewhat complicated. Jessie and Norman both loved each other immensely and had a very deep relationship. Along with their everlasting love for one another, they also shared a common problem they each were trying to solve. Jessie was trying to help her brother Neal live a better life, just as Norman was trying to help Paul. They both understood what the other was dealing with and tried to be supportive of the situation. Jessie and Norman not only proclaimed their love aloud to each other, but showed it through supporting and caring for one another.

Norman seemed to admire Paul’s skill in fly-fishing. Before Paul dies he is nearing perfection as a fly-fisherman, and Norman seems to strive towards being as good as Paul at it. While Norman has everything else in his life going for him by being happily married with a job, the one thing Paul has that Norman doesn’t is his skill at fly-fishing. Paul’s true love of fishing is what kept him going in life and was a common interest Paul and Norman had together. When either of them was in a tough situation, they could rely on the other to be there for him, and go off fishing together to get away.

When Norman said that he is “haunted by the waters” I think he is referring to the waters as a reminder of his past. The river holds many memories for him of his father, brother, and times fly-fishing with them. After Norman loses his wife, father, and brother to death, his most vivid reminder of them is the waters. The river brings back his memories of his family, particularly Paul, and is a painful reminder to him. Whenever Norman sees the waters, it brings back memories to him of all the times he spent with Paul fly-fishing and talking.

The reason I felt “I am haunted by the waters” was such a strong quote was that, to me, it spoke about his relationships with his family and how he is constantly reminded of them. I felt that the book had a strong emphasis on his relationships with his family and by writing the book he expressed them.  When Norman says the waters are haunting to him I think he is referring to it just as a constant reminder of his strong relationships with his family, particularly Paul, and how much he misses them.

Most people never realize how important some one is in their life until that person is gone. One of these kinds of important people in my life was Grampa, who died June 5, 2007.

Grampa was an old Mexican who grew up in Uvalde, Texas. His first language was Spanish so he always spoke with an accent and when he got mad he would curse in his original language. He had dark skin and white hair surrounding a bald spot. Whenever he was surprised or if someone came over he would always say “Anae” which to this day we still don’t know what it means.

After school Grampa had always had hotdogs or some other snack fixed for whoever came over and got after us when no one did. He was a good cook, specializing in Mexican food (the real stuff, not store bought). He would spend the day cooking rice, beans, and tortillas just to get someone to come over. If just his grandchildren were over, no matter the age, he would immediately switch the TV from the usual Westerns and Wrestling to cartoons.

Another one of the things that was important to me was Grampa’s love of plants. At Grampa’s house there were lilacs, roses, and a vegetable garden containing tomatoes and peppers. While he was sick he didn’t have the strength to tend to the vegetable garden so I convinced my family to take care of it. When Grampa heard of this his face lit up and whenever we were working on the garden he would sit outside to watch us and would tell us how deep to plant a carrot seed, or what to do for an expected frost.

I never realized it until after, but Grampa always kept our family together. We would always have a barbecue for every summer holiday. My aunts and uncles use to come to Polson to see us at least once a month from Missoula and West Glacier, but after his death everyone separated. My Aunt immediately moved to Washington. The last holiday, Easter, remained clear of the usual egg hunt and barbecue.

Losing such an important person in my life hasn’t been easy and moving on is still difficult. I still cry from that emptiness that can never be filled again. I will never forget him.

Early in the dark and depressing morning of Saturday September 30, 2006, my mom slowly walked to my bed, and gently shook me, waking me up. I looked at her, droopy eyed, and she quietly told me, “She’s gone.” Which meant my grandmother, Yaya, had passed away. I slowly rolled out of bed and took a hot thirty-minute shower. We packed some clothes for my dad, brother (Dale), and sister (Bradee) because they had gone down Friday night.

The night before I had played a football game in Big Fork. My mom and her mom came up to watch us beat the Vikings, during their homecoming. After the game, I rode home with my mom and thought about Yaya the whole way home. When we got home, my mom said she was too tired to drive to Arlee to see Yaya, and she thought we would make it in the morning.

After packing we started to head towards Arlee, stopping for breakfast at McDonald’s, in silence. We knew as a family that this day was getting near, but no one thought it was going to happen. I always thought she was too strong for the cancer to bring her to the heavenly gates.

We, my mom and I, got to the house about seven or eight, the cold dew was still on the lush green lawn, and my dad met us at the car. He was wearing his dark sunglasses, he didn’t want anybody to see him crying, and gave my mom a long, long, long hug. Then he gave me a long hug. I found Auntie Onie (Ellen) and Auntie Deb were outside by the old rusted brown Ford (Ol’ Brownie). They were hugging and crying (not crying because they were laughing too hard), I assumed they were remembering their mom, not wanting to let go. I walked up the squeaky wooden steps that led to the beautiful, small blue house that my dad grew up in with his three sisters (Debbie, Ellen, and Gwen) and brother (Brian). I walked through the dark hallways, the smell of sweet-grass in the air, to her room in the back. Papa was sitting by the bed holding her limp hand. I slowly and quietly crawled up on the bed to say my last goodbyes.

In the room next door, my brother and younger cousin (Mansy) were playing an intense, they didn’t even notice me as I walked in, game of Madden 07. Dale was getting worked, I don’t remember the score, but he was being dominated. Dale is always the Packers and Mans’ is always the Eagles. I sat between them on the bed, they didn’t notice the bed squeak and fold in. The game ended when Mans’ through a bomb to Terrell Owens for a touchdown. Mans’ asked me to play him, but I said it was too early and he agreed.

The three of us went outside and sat at the old wooden picnic table on the porch and sat, for what felt like an eternity, in a subdued silence. My plump baby cousin, Patrick, came waddling out to break the silence. I could tell by his sadden and confused face he knew something was wrong but didn’t know what. He strolled up to me and asked me why everybody was crying. I felt it wasn’t my place to tell him his Yaya had passed away so I said, “Somethings wrong with Yaya.” He asked if she would be OK. I told him, “I don’t know. I hope so.” Deep down I knew she was in a better place than we were and that she wasn’t suffering anymore and that was the only reason I didn’t cry as much as I should have.

Just then, the door slowly creaked open and my dad and uncle were pushing a stretcher with Yaya on it out on the porch, shortly followed by a plump, balding big white man. I quietly followed them down the steps and into the hearse. The hearse slowly pulled away leaving us standing there in a cloud of dust. Papa got in Ol’ Brownie and followed the strange white man to the morgue.

Dad told me get Dale and Mans’ and load them up in the van so we could go set up the Arlee Community Center for the wake and the funeral. When we got there the lady behind the counter told us where we could find the chairs and gave us the big gold key to every door in the Center. The six of us, Dale, Mans’, Dad, Uncle Brian, Chad and me, set the chairs side by side twenty chairs in a row and fifteen rows, you do the math.

For the next three or four days we stayed well fed. Every four hours we were woken up to eat a full meal with meat, potatoes. fruit and vegetables.

For the next three or four days I learned Yaya liked to listen to country music, but mostly Brad Paisley. We listened to it the twenty-four seven. I learned Yaya said she was going to runoff and marry Brad Paisley.

Over the next three or four days I met a lot of my family. I met my dad’s aunts, uncles, and cousins that I didn’t know existed.

On the last day at the Center I learned something. I learned that my dad is one of the strongest people in the world, not physically but emotionally. During the funeral service I watched my dad, he never cried a tear, in front of any body. Instead he kept to himself and when the service was over he went on a walk and let it all out, he cried for the first time I ever saw, and he talked to his mom. Later I talked to him about it and he said, “Being the oldest boy in his family, I had to protect my younger brother and sisters and I have to be strong for them.” He asked me, very quietly yet sternly, if I could do the same. I told him, “I would try.”

My dream started when I was just a kid. I was five years old when my great grandfather passed away. That year-was a life changing one. I started to realize more than before, others’ emotions, and behaviors, as well as my own reasoning. My mom never hid reality from me. It was always there. Standing in that room with him on the hospital bed sorrow laid cold and desolate. As a kid I might not have always understood everything, but the emotions in that room lay unhidden, and barren for all of us to see and feel.

It was coming to the fall of 1996, I was swinging on my swing-set, given to me before his passing. Somehow, something felt Arri. I saw people coming down the drive way. I recognized them to be the father and the brother of my best friend, Jordan. My father greeted them. After they had left, I learned that they were moving to be closer to their oldest son. I never saw them again. Sure, I kept in contact as best as I could, but I would never see them face to face. The year after, which was fourth grade for me, well that’s when I thought I might as well give up, because of reasons I’ve partially forgotten by now, but at that point dreams felt to have no use, no purpose. I had given up on hopes of becoming a better student. Everything I did I felt I did wrong, thus everything that had gone wrong in my life was my fault. It was all my doing. I had lost all self worth, I felt like I couldn’t help anyone, not even my family, and that’s what hurt the most.

As I got older, I took in traits that I knew would not only help my family, but also give others the self worth that I had lost, and give them the feeling that they were just as important as anybody else. That’s when I realized more so than ever what my calling, what my dream really was, what made me happy. It was to give and give till you couldn’t give anymore. Which made the statements “It’s better to give than receive,” and “you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar” all the more true.

Even though my family has never owned a home, has had several illnesses, and has been in debt, I have come to see that happiness can make the biggest difference. Laughter seemed to heal the biggest wounds, especially when it came to my uncle passing away, a year ago, of cancer, which he had been battling for more than 30 years. I had never known this until his passing. It started making me thinking about all the other things I had never known about him, as well as all my other family members who had passed before him. Who else was I leaving out of my life? How much longer would I allow this to continue?

I believe we are all influenced by the ones we love and care for the most. The traits I have learned and acquired from those ones I have loved and cared for most, are ones I hope will stay with me for the rest of my life. My dream is not only to keep those I care about close to me, near or far, but in hopes that when I die, I will have died knowing that I made a difference in someone else’s life, that I made some one else’s life better, as well as my own. Dying with a legacy of happiness is my dream.

From the time I was three years old I have loved math. Being home-schooled, I started adding in first grade at the age of three. I kept up with my sister until sixth grade when we entered public school and were placed different grades because of my age. I’ve always wanted to pursue a career that requires math skills. A couple of years ago, my parents told me that a good career choice that includes math would be an accounting. I enjoy working with computers and numbers. I like the idea of an indoor working environment. I chose to research this occupation because I plan to enter a career that resembles this very closely.

The work environment, as I said above, is mainly indoors. Accountants and auditors have a lot of contact with clients. In some cases, auditors may interact with clients more than accountants will. Both will work with them one on one about their financial position. These sorts of occupations are needed more in the urban areas where there are businesses, companies and wealthy citizens. This career may require more than fifty hours of work per week, especially from January through April due to tax preparation season.

To be successful I would need to develop many skills and abilities such as visual acuity, patience with clients, computer and communication skills. Auditors also need to be able to sit for long hours, to reason and solve problems using math and science. Perhaps the most important skills are the ability to manage tasks and people as well as to accurately visualize situations and solutions. Accountants and auditors may advance to positions with more responsibility or perhaps even open their own firm. About eleven percent of accountants and auditors are self-employed.

To work as an accountant or auditor, I will have to earn at least a bachelors degree majoring in accounting. Then to advance to a certified public accountant (CPA), I will have to complete a five-year, one hundred and fifty credit hour accounting program, have public accounting experience, and pass the uniform CPA examination. Depending on what kind of accounting is available, I will have to study for two to five years. Two-year programs are available at community colleges and private business schools to prepare me for becoming a bookkeeper or for entry-level accountant jobs. For professional accounting or auditing jobs I must obtain a bachelors degree in accounting which may take a four-year program at a college or a university.  In this four-year plan I will have to take one year of accounting courses, one year of general business courses, and two years of liberal arts courses. If I wish to become a CPA, I will need to complete an additional thirty hours of study in accounting. These extra courses will prepare me to take the Uniform CPA Exam and to work independently as a public accountant. To gain more experience before advancing I would take internship programs during college or in the summer. Generally, beginning public accountants will work under a licensed CPA for at least a year to gain even more experience required for the CPA license.

While in high school, I will want to take business classes, computer and information sciences classes, English language and literature classes, marketing classes, math classes, and social sciences and history classes. Business management and computer courses will be helpful if I hope to become self-employed.

I want to attend the University of Texas in Austin. The total cost for tuition, books, and on-campus room and board for me, being out of state, will be $29,340. Requirements for this school are a high school diploma, ACT or SAT test results, and other additional requirements may include a minimum high school GPA, letters of recommendation, a personal essay, high school courses, and additional tests. The application fee for this particular school is $60. I will also have to submit a writing sample and my transcript.

On average the yearly wage for Montana is $42,230. The average yearly wage for the U.S. is $52,210. Some areas are better than others. Urban areas will most likely provide more opportunities for success.

I think that this occupation is right up my alley. I believe that I will enjoy it very much and be successful as well. I learned that there are so many opportunities open to me and it’s all my choice of how I want to proceed through my future.

I am Su-san Perez-Tenas and I want to be an orthodontist when I get older. My interests are both social and business. I plan on going to school in Washington at WSU first and then I want to go to the University of Washington. Work will fit into the life that I want to create because I want a job that is high paying but I still leaves time to spend with my family. Eventually I will be my own boss by opening up my own place. I want to make sure that I have security and can take care of my family. My family will always be my first priority and then my job. The reason I chose this occupation is because it has always appealed to me. I don’t know why but it just has.

To be an orthodontist, I will almost always work as a part of a larger work group or team and I will have a high level of social contact. The future prospects for orthodontists are good. To prepare for this the courses I plan to take in high school are physiology, chemistry, computer applications, and vocational foods my junior year. My senior year, I plan on taking Chemistry II, physical science, stats, and accounting. The post-secondary training that I would need include at least two years of college. I would most likely need four years to complete dental school, and after I graduate from dental school, I plan on going to a postgraduate training program which will prepare me to be an orthodontist. This training could take anywhere from two to four years.

Two schools that I am thinking about going to would be WSU or the University of Washington. Entry requirements for both schools are a high school diploma or a GED, four years of English, three years of math, two years of science, two years of a foreign language, three years of a social science, one year of an art, and the ACT with writing test, or the SAT.  The tuition cost for WSU is $15,018 for out of state students, but since I’m a tribal member, I get to pay the in-state tuition which is $6,010. The tuition for the University of Washington is $21,286 for out of state students but since I’m an tribal member, I get to pay the in-state tuition which is $5,988. In Montana, the average pay per year is about $83,040 or about $40.00 an hour. But in the United States as a whole, the average pay is more than $145,000 a year or more than $70.00 an hour.

Doing this SAILS unit has helped me to learn more about being an orthodontist. Now I know that in order for me to be an orthodontist I will have to be really motivated and go to school for a long time. I also learned that I would need to be interested in math and science because I will be using that a lot in my career. I think that being an orthodontist will be a good career for me because I am good with people and with working as a team and I will be very committed. Now I am thinking that being an orthodontist isn’t as easy as I thought it would be, but I still would like to become one. 

Some of us don’t know what we want to be when we leave the protective nest that we call home. We spend a lot of time thinking we would be great at a job, only to find out that there were other jobs out there. That was the case for me. Every career test and job search that I’ve taken says that I would make a great teacher, or a awesome social worker. But those aren’t the kind of things I want to do with my life. Sure, I like to help people, the pay is good, and there are plenty of jobs open for those positions, but I don’t want to be them. I want to have some fun in my life, you know. I want to be creative and independent. That’s why, while looking for a job, I found the perfect one. I ‘m Sabrina Nystrom, and my future occupation is Animation and Multimedia.

I chose this job because it caught my interest immediately. With the age we are in, there’s a need for more animators. More movies are using 3-D graphics and characters. The job pays very well, but it’s a job where, if you imagine and animate something, you could create your own movie. My mom also said that it would be the perfect occupation for me, because it requires all of your creativity and imagination. When clients come to you, wanting a character that will catch attention, you have to dream up a character that will please them and the future audience. Doesn’t that seem like a cool job?

The working conditions of a multi-media animator’s occupation aren’t that demanding. You’re required to have a medium level of social interaction, communicate daily by telephone, e-mail, and in person. You’re required to work indoors, work near others, and make decisions that affect coworkers. You must also work with clients on a weekly basis, you must be very exact and accurate while working on a project, you have to meet strict deadlines, set some independent goals and tasks, and work a set schedule. The location of this occupation depends on who you work with you. The most popular companies to offer this type of work are Disney and Dreamworks. The benefits of being a animator are awesome. You get lots of social interaction, and you get to have fun and make your characters do whatever you want. If you want to add on to a character, you can do it without asking permission.

In the future, need for animators and multi-media artists will increase rapidly by 2014. The number of nationally working animators is 93,700, whilst in 2014 it will be 107,000. Quite a change huh. There are lots of opportunities now for animators and multi-media artists, since they can assist the art director and design director of a movie.

To prepare for this job, I’ll need to take all English courses, computers courses, fine and performing arts, business courses, journalism, and social studies/history classes. If I choose to be self-employed, then I’ll have to take accounting also. I will also need 4-8 years of college at schools like the University of Pennsylvania or D.A.V.E. School, which are the top schools for animation and multimedia art. The D.A.V.E. School, which stands for Digital Animation and Visual Effects, requires a high school diploma, and applicants must desire to become a serious computer animator. Applicants must also have common computer knowledge and Internet usage skills. University of Pennsylvania requires font that students who avail themselves to the rich cultural, social, and academic opportunities in the academic community. Students will be in a very diverse community and should pride themselves on their academic accomplishments.

If I go decide to go to the D.A.V.E. school, then I will be provided a apartment near Universal Studios, which is right behind the school. If I go to Penn, then I will be able to stay in a dorm. Penn, because it is a Ivy League school, will cost 34,580 dollars a year. The D.A.V.E. school will cost about 15,000 dollars a year.

When I start the job, I will be working with 15-20 people on one project. Each of us will have our own computer and job to do, and only the directors have cubicles or offices. We will not have to work with the public, and the work environment is not physically demanding. The average animator or multi-media artist is payed 33.13 dollars hourly, 5,741 dollars monthly, and 68,910 dollars yearly.

In conclusion, this occupation would be perfect for me. I love to work on art, and it seems like it would be very fun, and there would be many new people to meet. I learned a few new things, like where and when the animators and artists work, and how much work they do.

Being a Purchasing Manager would allow me to help people see things the way I do. It would allow me to buy things for the best prices I can get.  I love to hear business people talk because it is like another language to me. It is so much fun to sit and listen to people talking about a business. When they talk about their business plans and becoming an LLC, PPC or PC, or if they’re going to get stock holders to buy into their business, it excites me.  I work for Super One grocery store and when I purchased things for the produce department it gave me a sense of empowerment. I am able to talk to people easily.  In this position I might have angry customers who didn’t get their product on time, and would have to please them and my company, so I would need to be able to handle conflict.  I would need to have good communication skills and be able to speak clearly and be a good listener.  My dad has been a purchasing manager for 30 years and for a few companies. My dad loved what he did and he used to take me to his office all the time after school. He used to show me everything that he did. It always looked like so much fun. It also looked really hard but I believe that I can do this job. This is why I want to be a purchasing manager. I feel that I could make a good living while supporting myself/ future family and hobbies.

I think that this career would fit into my life because I can work during the day and have evenings off to do the things I love.  I really like to travel by plane, enjoy being outside riding my ATV, shooting, hunting, working on my truck, and being with family and friends.  I would be comfortable talking with people all day, and making decisions about how to spend other peoples’ money.

If I was going to be in this occupation I would need at least a bachelor’s degree in Business Management and Administration. I would also need another two years of internship. I would need to go to a college that has a good Business program like the University of Montana.  They have a good reputation for a business graduates who are qualified to hire right out of college.  The University of Montana requires that I have three years of math but they would prefer four. To be accepted into the business department of the university I need to pass all the graduation requirements for the high school and then have one credit of world geography, one credit of math three, and a 2.5 GPA or rank in top half of class or ACT score of twenty two.

I would probably start at the buyer level and work my way up to Materials/Purchasing Manager.  When you work for a company who makes a certain product, different people are assigned different clients and they work with them directly after the sales team has started working with the client. I would buy goods or services for the company I work for, where some buyers purchase goods for resale.  My next step would be to negotiate the best price that I could buy the items for and award contracts.  Purchasing Managers usually handle the harder or higher dollar purchases.  A Purchasing manager would usually have a staff of buyers/agents that buy the less expensive or smaller dollar items.  When the buyer or purchasing manager completes the buying process and the pieces are in the warehouse, then production of the product is started.  Then the production line creates the product and it is shipped to the customer.

A Purchasing Manager needs to attend trade shows, meetings and visit suppliers to see if their products are the right quality for the product my company is making.  They need to have knowledge of contract law, negotiations, and inventory control practices. Their education is continuing and they need to stay up to date on new laws and practices.  There are a couple of good organizations that help Purchasing Managers stay educated.  One is NAPM (National Association of Purchasing Managers) and APICS (Association of Purchasing and Inventory Control Specialists).  These two groups’ help their members learn the new laws, provide continuing education credits and help you find jobs in this profession.

To prepare myself for this career in high school I would need to have completed classes in word processing, accounting, introduction to business, business management and banking and finance if they are available to be studied at high school.  English classes are very important for communication skills, such as; language arts, English composition, English grammar and public speaking.  Math classes should include pre-algebra, algebra, geometry, trigonometry, calculus, statistics, business math and computer math.  When I get to college, I would need psychology, consumer law, business law, ethics and economics.

I would always be able to find work in this field because purchasing is done in business management companies, federal, state and local government agencies, navigational and measuring equipment manufactures and grocery products wholesalers.  The national average yearly wage for a purchasing manager is $76,270.00 per year.  If I stay in Montana though, my average wage would be $56,520.00.  My Dad has actually found the wage average to be much lower, more in the range of $30,000.00 per year in Montana. 

I think I would like this profession because it would allow me to be with people everyday, to spend other peoples’ money, to get the most products for the least price, and be in charge of people.  I like the challenge of making people happy, making plenty of money, not doing a dangerous job, and working a normal work week.  This profession would be one where I could grow and learn and make more and more money if I apply myself in learning new skills, and being a reliable employee.

If I would have known brain scans would have been in my scrapbook at the end of last year it might have prepared me for the journey that lay ahead. It was the biggest blizzard of the winter months and the house was cold and an eerie silence surrounded everything. It wasn’t a peaceful silence. Nothing was peaceful about it. The phone ringing broke that silence.

“Hello, this is Dr. Gardner from St.Patrick’s hospital in Missoula.” There was a pause. “Hello, are you still there, Miss Trosello?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“This is regarding your brain scans. We suggest that you get down here immediately.”

Those next four months after that phone call were spent doing agonizing tests and sitting the waiting rooms of busy doctor’s offices. I had never in my life realized that I would know so much about MRIs and head CTs. That innocent bruise on my head wasn’t so innocent anymore. The severe headaches pounded like a hammer and my eyesight became blurry. There were no answers. It felt like everything was falling apart one painkiller at a time.

After about a thousand doctors later the results all came into view: a rare bone cancer called fibborus displasia was taking over my bones. There are very few cases of this disease and some are worse then others. It’s most common in children and young adults and many doctors do not know what to do about it. In the meantime the headaches grew worse. Since the doctors were stalling my mom grew impatient. It was really hard for her to see her only child in pain. Nights were sleepless for the both of us. She spent hours reading books and looking at various websites for answers.

Over the next few months, my troubles seemed to have no end. I suffered disorientation, depression, and an eating disorder. With so much happening at once, I wanted to stop and take a deep breath.

So I did. With lots of help from lots of people, I began to re-think all sorts of things about my life. I came to realized that all my troubles hadn’t started with this disease. Even before I got sick, there were things wrong. In fact, maybe some things had gotten better in a way.

Before all this I was going on a completely different path. I was almost lost in the beginning years of adolescence, the parties, and lies and way too many late nights. At that point I really did respect and care more for my loser friends than I did for my own parents and I knew that really hurt them. I regret that all now.

It was my sixteenth birthday this last January and it was the first time in about two years that my mom told me with sincerity that she thought that I was growing up to be a very mature young lady, and she didn’t know as a person how I deal with everything that I have been through. And that meant a lot to me. Even if getting sick was one of the most terrible things that happened to me I think that I can say it changed my life.

Music had always been a big part of his life. He has been an active musician since he was a young boy. However, young Thomas Elliott has not seen any especially inspirational live performances in his life. He had not seen anything so vibrant and colorful as to change him as a person and bring out his true passions. This would change January 11, 2007.

In his old “dull” life, he once caught wind of a live performance in Missoula, Montana, at the Wilma Theatre. He heard that an old band, full of memory, was playing the roots reggae music that Tom has enjoyed for some time. This band was brought into existence in the mid-sixties by a man named Bob Marley. This group of reggae musicians is called the Wailers. They were big through the late sixties through the seventies until Marley’s tragic death. To Toms advantage, they were now small enough to play in the unpopulated state of Montana, close to Polson. After he heard of this great opportunity, he promptly went down to Missoula and got tickets in advance.

There was one catch, however. He knew he had to drive the dangerous roads of Western Montana from Polson to Missoula to catch this performance. He developed a fear of driving in anything other than light, rural traffic due to a hellacious car accident. He was going much too fast down a back road when he swerved around a cat and destroyed a section of barbed-wire fence. His only way of getting to this spectacle of wonder was to face his fear and drive down, on one of the most dangerous highways, to Missoula.

When the calendar showed the magical date of January 11, 2007, Tom departed with two good friends towards the city of Missoula. He borrowed his mothers green Ford Explorer for his expedition to the concert. He was very tense during the first fifteen miles. As hunger overcame the young men, they stopped in Ronan at a Subway. After the quenched themselves, and left, Tom was much more relaxed and the rest of the drive was relatively smooth sailing.

The arrival to Missoula was somewhat early, for it was six o’clock and the doors of the Wilma opened at seven. Tom and his crew with him met some other good friends who were also attending this spectacle. The clock approached seven as the young men mingled. The clock was closing in on seven so Tom decided to head over to the Wilma. The line was long before the great doors of the Wilma. Tom handed the green ticket to the big man at the entrance and excitedly grabbed the ticket stub as he entered the building.

The young men anxiously awaited the opening band to play, as they were so early to the concert. Being ten minutes after seven, they had to wait a considerable amount of time to hear some music. They found desirable seats in the audience due to being early. As the clock approached eight oclock, Tom noticed people filling the section in front of the stage. Tom hurried then to find a good spot to see the musicians on stage perfectly. As he mingled with the good people in the crowd, he noticed that he could relate with them and he felt as if he were at home.

The opening band was amazing, a delicious combination of guitar, keyboards, bass, tenor sax, and drums. They were a nice instrumental group.

When the Wailers got on stage, the crowds went absolutely crazy and Tom knew he was in for an awesome show. The crowd piled into the front of the auditorium, where Tom was. He was glad he got up there ahead of time and he saw the band perfectly. When the Wailers started performing Tom just then had a great sense of belonging. The sweet music pierced his soul and he felt like he was flying. Tom danced rhythmically with the crown and no one could ever know what kind of bliss he was in that night.

A whistle blew and a yellow flag appeared on the ground. “Offsides on the offense,” the referee proclaimed. Our team had just scored and we were going for two points. Now because of the offsides call we would have to go nine yards to get the extra two points instead of three yards. We broke from the huddle and I lined up at my position, running back. The play was a counter to the left. The center snapped the ball and I faked to the right and then took off left where the quarterback handed me the ball. As I ran I saw our wide receiver make a block on the linebacker, opening a pathway to the endzone. I was just about in the endzone when I saw a defender coming. I dove with the ball outstretched and the ball hit the inside of the pylon as the defender tackled me out of bounds. I anxiously waited for the touchdown signal by the referee and finally he signaled a touchdown. My teammates and I ecstatically celebrated. This would unknowingly be my last play I would ever play in a football game.

Throughout the fifth grade to my seventh grade year I frequently would come home from sport practices, especially football and wrestling, with bruises, abnormally, all over my body. During the summer of my sixth grade year I went to a hospital in Oregon to have tests done to see what was wrong. The Oregon doctors came up with the diagnosis shortly after the game which I scored the two points in. The diagnosis was that I had dysfibrinogenemia, a bleeding disorder. This caused the abnormal bruising that continually appeared on my body. Dysfibrinogenemia is a very rare disorder with only 400 known cases. There is minimal information on it, so there are many questions of affects of the disorder.

Because of all the unknowns, I was told not to play football or wrestle anymore, for the fear of me receiving a concussion. Doctor’s fears that because of my abnormal and easy bruising, if I were to receive a concussion it would cause my brain to bleed and I could die. There is only one treatment for my disorder which is frozen plasma. Anytime I acquire a more serious injury I am required to have a frozen plasma transfusion. To date I have only had one transfusion, which occurred in seventh grade after I broke my leg. Another complication with my disorder is that when I receive injuries it takes longer for them to heal than the average person. Such as when I pulled my hamstring it took over a year to heal even with proper treatment. However to this day I still, at times, have trouble with it.

When my doctor first told me of my disorder I felt as if there was nothing to live for anymore. I took it extremely hard and it bothered me for probably a year. Gradually, though, it stopped bothering me and I found other activities to fill the vacancy’s of football and wrestling. I went back to playing soccer, which had been my first love in sports. Also I took up skiing during the winter, which was a totally new sport for me. During these and other activities I do take precautions to help prevent injury, especially head injuries. I now think that this whole ordeal has worked out well and am at peace with knowing the unknown of my disorder. I believe that the most important thing that came from this was that I now never take anything for granted because you never know when it will be your last time.

(for Dad)

I am from basketball shorts,
from Nike and Under Armour.
I am from planting the flowers in the backyard.
I’m from the raspberry bush,
the Ravalli meadow apple trees.

I am from hunting camp, and Republicans,
From Grandpa, Grandma, and my Dad.
I am from words of an athlete and the life of a farmer.
From the be thankful and mind your manners.
I am from Sunday morning church
and the Ten Commandments.

Im from St. Josephs Hospital in Missoula,
from beef and mashed potatoes.
From the laughter of being chased by a mad cow
and Roger knocking Grandma down the hill.

I am from photos hanging upon the walls,
old memories, laughs and cries,
hugs and goodbyes.

I am from Western Family and Pamida.
I am form the two-bedroom apartment
(Small, hard to move around in).
I am from the juniper bush, the pine trees.

I am from tortillas and black hair,
from Joseph and Maggie.
I am from the loud-laughers and creativeness,
from behave and be quiet.
I am from the little children’s Bible
with the picture of David and Goliath.

I’m from Montana,
rice and beans,
from the dentures of my grandfather
falling out of his mouth,
from the trip my grandmother took to Ecuador.

I am from the old oak chest
put in a cold storage shed,
waiting for a safe place.