If I would have known brain scans would have been in my scrapbook at the end of last year it might have prepared me for the journey that lay ahead. It was the biggest blizzard of the winter months and the house was cold and an eerie silence surrounded everything. It wasn’t a peaceful silence. Nothing was peaceful about it. The phone ringing broke that silence.

“Hello, this is Dr. Gardner from St.Patrick’s hospital in Missoula.” There was a pause. “Hello, are you still there, Miss Trosello?”

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“This is regarding your brain scans. We suggest that you get down here immediately.”

Those next four months after that phone call were spent doing agonizing tests and sitting the waiting rooms of busy doctor’s offices. I had never in my life realized that I would know so much about MRIs and head CTs. That innocent bruise on my head wasn’t so innocent anymore. The severe headaches pounded like a hammer and my eyesight became blurry. There were no answers. It felt like everything was falling apart one painkiller at a time.

After about a thousand doctors later the results all came into view: a rare bone cancer called fibborus displasia was taking over my bones. There are very few cases of this disease and some are worse then others. It’s most common in children and young adults and many doctors do not know what to do about it. In the meantime the headaches grew worse. Since the doctors were stalling my mom grew impatient. It was really hard for her to see her only child in pain. Nights were sleepless for the both of us. She spent hours reading books and looking at various websites for answers.

Over the next few months, my troubles seemed to have no end. I suffered disorientation, depression, and an eating disorder. With so much happening at once, I wanted to stop and take a deep breath.

So I did. With lots of help from lots of people, I began to re-think all sorts of things about my life. I came to realized that all my troubles hadn’t started with this disease. Even before I got sick, there were things wrong. In fact, maybe some things had gotten better in a way.

Before all this I was going on a completely different path. I was almost lost in the beginning years of adolescence, the parties, and lies and way too many late nights. At that point I really did respect and care more for my loser friends than I did for my own parents and I knew that really hurt them. I regret that all now.

It was my sixteenth birthday this last January and it was the first time in about two years that my mom told me with sincerity that she thought that I was growing up to be a very mature young lady, and she didn’t know as a person how I deal with everything that I have been through. And that meant a lot to me. Even if getting sick was one of the most terrible things that happened to me I think that I can say it changed my life.